Nurse: Do you know what this is?
Hattie: It's an American.
pause
Me: Flag. It's an American flag. (it was not an American flag, just a nondescript flag, FYI)
Hattie loves to go see the trains!
We have gone to the Children's Museum several times and Hattie will sometimes participate in the partici-play! This was her first time. The guy said he needed a princess and Hattie stood right up with her arm raised and said "I'm a princess!" an then walked down to get her costume. It was amazing. She did so great!
Another time she was a rabbit with her cousin Charlotte.
And this time she was a smelly ogre! Hilarious! She later changed her mind, but not before I snapped a picture. She's the cutest, smallest ogre I've ever seen.
Hattie selfies!
Tired girl!
She's imitating me in this one.
Play-doh dresses!
Decorating cookies!
And best of all, it's getting warm enough to swing on the back porch again.
I thought I did a good job on her hair this day:
She's been loving to paint recently as well:
Painting with dad!
And of course we remember and think of Henry every day. I still have breakdowns, but keeping active and busy helps. I've started running the past couple weeks and in the very least it's been helping me to sleep better at night. March 3rd will be eight months since he passed away and March 15th is a big one. His first birthday. I try not to think about it.
And then we'll be in a 3 1/2 month period where a year ago Henry had been alive. A thought I've had through the holidays, birthdays, and events since July 3rd is that I wish I had had just one with Henry. One Halloween where I could have dressed him up. One Thanksgiving where I could have fed him turkey and mashed potatoes. One Christmas. I could have given him gifts, sang carols, and cherished my little boy during a time that is all about family. I kept thinking, if I could have only had one holiday with him- then I could have happy memories to remember at this time, and not just notice his absence. And now I get to see if it's true- Easter, Mother's Day and Father's Day we had with Henry last year. I'm sure it will be a different kind of hard.
Thanks for reading! I know I tend to ramble and I can't help but write about Henry. I don't get to talk about him much anymore, not like I wish I could. I wish I had updates on his growth and development, funny things he does, for my 'Everyday' posts. But I don't, and I'm still figuring out how to live with that.
I can't remember if I wrote it here or in my journal, but just before Henry was born I wrote that I knew it would be hard. Everything would be difficult, we would need to adjust everything, but we would, and soon enough it would become our new normal. And it wouldn't be so hard anymore, it would just be the way things are. It only took a few weeks to find my new normal after Henry arrived, he was so perfect and such a wonderful addition to our family. I haven't found my new normal yet since his passing, at least I haven't fully adjusted to it yet.
Again, thanks for reading. I do tend to ramble ;) Love and miss you Henry!
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