Baby #3

We found out right before Henry's birthday that I'm prego! Here's baby's first picture:

I'm due 11-11-16.  For those keeping track, my birthday is November 6th.  I'm kind of hoping baby is born on my birthday- it would be a wonderful present to have a baby before my due date.  I've yet to achieve that.

11 weeks:

All looked good at my second appointment. Baby had definitely grown!

15 weeks.  Photo cred: Hattie!

At my 3rd appointment we found out that baby is most likely a boy!  I made this announcement for social media.  So you know, now it's official.

So that's where we're at!  We have the big ultrasound in a couple weeks and my next appointment a week after that.  So far everything looks good.

It's different this time around.  I can't help but be a bit frightened.  I was scared with other two, but for totally different reasons.  Hattie- terrified of becoming a parent.  Henry- scared of how he would fit into our family.  It wasn't even on my radar that one of my children would pass away before me or Kurt.  Especially with no warning.  No doctor ever told me my son had a heart condition until it was too late to do anything about it.  So now, anything is possible.  Anything can happen.  I try to remember, that anything includes good things too.  This baby could be perfectly healthy and live a long life.  I pray for that every night.  I pray for Hattie's continued health as well.

Those are my thoughts in my low moments.

More often I remember the feeling of holding my own baby in your arms.  Of kissing their soft head and getting so incredibly hot holding them, but still not wanting to put them down.  I remember those gummy smiles that melt my heart, and not minding being woken up so often...usually.  Honestly though, I doubt I will sleep much this time around anyways, so bring on the nighttime feedings!

And I try to live by President Hinckley's advice: "Don't worry!  It will all work out!"

We're going on faith this time around, but I know without a doubt that I am meant to be a mother.

P.S. Hattie comes with me to my appointments and it is awesome.  When we were leaving the last one she told me "good job mom! I'm so proud of you!"  At my second appointment she was very concerned about the "magic jelly" the doctor put on my belly to see baby better.  She kept asking if we could wipe it off.  But then the next day she told me there was a baby in her belly and she put magic jello-o on her tummy to see it better!  She is amazing.  She's 500x more aware of what's happening this time around and seems very excited.  Hattie is a fantastic big sister!